Weekly Tools, Tips, and Thoughts from your Therapist

Change Your Relationship With Money This Month


Starting a Money Mindset Practice

As a kid, I had a talent for finding money. Wherever I went I’d be looking at the ground. Watching my feet and seeing the coins or notes that were lost all over the place. The excitement of finding a $2 coin was enough to keep my eyes searching the ground well into my teens. Even if I did walk into a couple of poles.


Finding money was exciting and unpredictable. It prompted the counting and re-counting of my small piggy-bank. But my eyes aren’t glued to the ground anymore, so finding money is a rare occasion now. So rather than excitedly adding $2 to the piggy-bank, I often find money to be a source of mixed emotions. And I’m not alone. Many of my relationship counselling clients, and individual clients, mention money stress, issues with debt, budgeting struggles, and financial goals, during our sessions.


On payday, you might experience feeling excited, hopeful, and relieved. But maybe that quickly turns to guilt, avoidance and overwhelm as payday fades into the past. Living costs, quick decisions, and unexpected costs eat away at that check. Good intentions of saving or paying off debt are postponed until next pay. This slowly fills us with anxiety, shame, frustration and overwhelm. Pretty soon it’s a cycle that we don’t want to look at. Maybe you get by and even save a little here and there, but if someone were to ask you about your money, would you feel guilty or uncertain about the future?


This month I’ll be writing about finances, and the complex relationship we have with money. As always, the best way forward is to increase our awareness of where we are and what’s going on. That’s why this month’s challenge is a Money Mindset Practice. It's designed to get you considering your relationship with money from new perspectives.


It’s okay not to have all the financial answers or a ton of money right now. It’s okay if you’ve never done a budget or currently have debts. Money impacts almost all aspects of our lives and can be both deeply personal and harshly impersonal. It can cause tension and fights in relationships. But it can also allow us to be generous and invest in our values and relationships. Money is tied up with our work, our possessions, our relationships, our homes, and often our identity.


Wherever you’re at, you can improve your relationship with money. Give yourself time to change and grow. Get curious and not judgemental. Change may need to happen, but don’t flog yourself for bad choices or habits. Finances are complex and many of us were not taught how to navigate finding income safely without walking into poles.


What’s the best financial advice you’ve heard? Let me know by sending me an email: rachel@rachelamycounselling.com



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